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Wednesday, December 30, 2009

to you...


You keep me waiting so long, my dear..
My heart's been yearning so long to hear...
words of love, that you will speak..
Its said you'll find what you shall seek...
I ask, I seek, and yes I knock..
A door, a boulder, a heavy rock...
That opened not, it never budged...
You mocked, presumed and you judged..
My voice but, you did not hear...
Did you see the drop of tear...?
You wouldn't.. you don't want to see...
Blind, in your aim to achieve...
That which to you is of worth..
Makes you oblivious to my dearth...
Should I then still wait for you...
Or forget it all, and just like you...
A materialistic life pursue,
And pretend to be happy too...?

-Evangeline

Monday, December 28, 2009

Random .. very... and Late...

I'm feeling weird..
ok... 1:56 am and i'm not asleep.. i was making changes in the class blog..

Some people are so stupid.. They irritate you and yet they have to be around..
Sometimes you wish they'd disappear... but then that doesn't happen.. and what happens instead is that.. when they aren't around finally.. you end up reflecting back on how they irritate you.. and THAT irritates you so much more... because it's like this certain level of patience you have has reached long back and now its as if the irritation's overflowing... and it's contained and you'll burst... any moment... but to what effect?? You'll just be more irritated... perhaps feel like pulling off your hair... a Disprin might help here sometimes... but not always...


2:02 am I'm sleepy and not sleepy at the same time... i have to wake up tomorrow for class.. I don't want to wake up..
Yes i want to go to class but i don't want to wake up... i hate waking up early... and if i don't catch my usual train i'd never reach in time for the first class... There are only two classes in a day.. what's the use if you don't reach for the first hour..

oooooh i bought new sandals.. I think I'm going to wear them tomorrow.. Oh yea and I like transparent nail paint..
So by far.. my new footwear is the only good thing happening to me...
I don't think there's a bad thing happening... except maybe a few irritating kind of people who i mentioned earlier...

hmph...
2:06 am .. i think i better go to bed... why are all my friends offline... i wish i had someone to chat with...

2:07am.. still thinking... don't feel like...
Gmail.. 34 unread.. old class reports...
wait let me clear my inbox... brb..

2:14am... cleared :D
Haven't visited my Yahoo mail for long.. it must be cluttered...

ok i think I'm starting to get sleepy...
off to bed .. Signing out... :D ...zzzZZzzz..

Eva

Sunday, December 27, 2009

Today morning..

My cousins, from home yesterday...an 8 year old and a 13 year old... I had to keep the internet out of their reach (or sight).. So i just locked everything away and didn't touch it myself :D..

Didn't go to church yet... I 'll go in the evening..
I thought i wanted to sleep, but as soon as everyone left, I pulled out the laptop and connected everything back...

Today might be different :D
Today might be the day ..
A decision shall be taken..
To change everything around
A foundation shall be laid..
to what will be in future..
Mine.

Eva :)

Friday, December 25, 2009

Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas :)
2:37 am.. i just returned from Church after the midnight service..

Admist tons of "Merry Christmas" SMSes flowing in just when it struck twelve, a sleepy me waited for the mass to get over...

It isn't half as good as it were back in Noida... There it used to start a few weeks before christmas... all the carol singing and crib decoration and house visits and cake cuttings. I remember staying back late at the church to practice carols to be sung on Christmas eve during the mass.. I remember Sandra ma'am going over and over again to make each one of us in the choir to get the notes right. And the tea they used to get us .. was like life-saver from the chilling cold and endless practice.

Its just so calm here.. doesn't feel like Christmas used to feel.

But then after a whole year of scattered living.. This is one time my whole(small :P) family is together.. My dad and my sister are back home.. :) It feels good to have them around...

:D Merry Christmas yet again!

Thursday, December 24, 2009

The walk..

So, you tread on pebbles when you walk on a road...
I've tread on pebbles too,,,
big ones and small..
I stumble, I fall...

And get myself back on my feet again..
Walk and think I'll be careful this time..
So when I walk, I watch out
At all that is in sight, I doubt..

But now that i watch and doubt and look..
I cannot enjoy the road i took...
I'd rather enjoy, I decide
I cast my doubts, my fears aside

And I stumble on a rock again...
But this one time, I don't complain..
For I decided to stumble and fall..
A bruise it made, really small...

After all what's life without mistakes..
How unexciting without risks you take...
Don't call me careless, do not judge
I have no complaints, I have no grudge..

For my days of crying are long gone..
I don't care, of what's right or what's wrong..
It 'll happen again, I don't fight anymore
The pain's all gone, it hurts no more..

:)

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

i miss...

I swear, sitting at home is boring...
My PC's still dead, i'm using my dad's laptop..
Oh i never mentioned my PC's dead yeah..

I miss class!
and Christma's still looks far..

I miss Delhi, I miss my church and i reeeeeallly miss carol singing!

Review- The Blessing[Velsignelse]

The Blessing[Velsignelse]
Denmark, 35mm, 75 minutes
Dir: Heidi Maria Faisst

Theme
Motherhood

Review
I feel, the movie juxtaposes two mother-daughter relationships to put across the theme.

While Katrina, in her becoming a mother, finds herself ruined, Katrina’s mother Lise cannot digest the fact that her daughter did not ask her to visit while she was in labour.

Both the daughters need their mothers, but Rosa can’t get hers while Lise supports Katrine as much as she can. Lise is ready ti take care of Katrine’s child when she realizes Katrine can’t.

We see how Katrine cannot come to terms with her new identity or role of a mother. When she looks at herself in the mirror, she finds herself responding with disappointment and surprise at her changed physical appearance.

While talking to her relatives about the delivery, Katrine compares it to the pain of  a “gallstone” being removed from her body. She appears uncomfortable with holding or breast-feeding the child. She even goes on to ask Lise “Can you feel that you love me?” indicating that she can’t feel the same for Rosa.

We see an inner struggle that Katrine goes through in coming to terms with motherhood and her journey through a tough time accepting truth. She decides to run, escape and hide but nothing works till she finally tries herself to work towards building a closer relationship to the child.

Lighting
A lot of scenes involving Rosa and Katrine, in the bedroom are shot with a red tinge on Katrine’s face. Even when Lise and Katrine are in the same room, a paler shade falls on Lise’s face while Katrine’s still seen in the reddish light. This might heighten the mental conflict and anger-like state her mind is in.


The pattern on the wall, often appear like cracks and seem to emphasize Katrine’s frustration.


Camera
The camera appears to be like an intruder watching the moves of the characters . There were noticeable shakes in the camera and an unnatural movement of zooming is used in places.

Narrator
An omniscient, intruder-like narrator.

The Role of the Husband/Boyfriend

As opposed to the conventional idea of the man being more inconsiderate, Andrea, Katrine’s boyfriend and Rosa’s father is extremely supportive, sometimes to fantastical levels.

Not only is he caring, but when Katrine leaves him and the child, he goes in search of her. He makes sure till the end that he sticks by her and takes care of her and the child.

I see a reversal of roles here, with fatherhood rising to a greater level than motherhood.

Pace
The movie was well paced, short, had no flash-backs or fast forwards.

Tuesday, December 22, 2009

Review- Ramanam [Night Sky] M. P. Sukumaran Nair



Night Sky
Dir:  M.P.Sukumaran Nair
Malayalam, 116 minutes

Theme
The movie throws a light on the baseless separation in society with regard to religion and community.

Story
Ramanam or ‘the Night Sky’ shows the life of a rich muslim merchant, Thangal, in rural Kerala. Thangal upholds age old family traditions, is helpful in nature and is a man of ecular beliefs. The story takes us through a part of his life where he decides to help Neeli, a girl found unconscious on ‘Valiya Thangal’s’ grave. Neeli, as we come to know later is the wife of a naxalite who is caught bythe police. She is a Hindu woman and is in the family way.

At about the same time we come to know that Thangal’s wife is also pregnant with a girl child.

Thangal pays for Neeli’s requirement and makes sure she gets all care required till the time her baby is delivered. However, Neeli dies as soon as she gives birth to a baby boy. Thangal at this point of time is at his place where his wife is also about to deliver the child. As soon as the girl is born, Thangal’s helpers come to inform him of Neeli’s death.

He names his own girl, Pookunji Beevi and Neeli’s Child is called Kunjali. He decides to adopt the child even though he’s of a Hindu origin. He requires of his wife to feed Kunjali too. His wife, doesn’t appreciate Thangal’s decision to adopt the child and despises him, but obeys her husband with repeated taunts about the boy.

Kunjali is made to stay with the house maid. A lovable woman with a husband who never cares for her, she takes care of Kunjali as if he were the son she never had. Pookunji and Kunjali grow up together. Infact, we see Thangal just as much careful with Kunjali’s upbringing, as he is of his own daughter’s.

While the society murmers against Thangal’s decisions, he remains unaffected. Kunjali is converted into a Muslim and is circumcised, there are objections to this but Thangal ignores, revising the fact that when the child was motherless, no Hindu woman turned up to help him. The child had to be breast-fed by a muslim woman.

Meanwhile, Pookunji grows up to go against conservative Muslim laws with the support of her father and ‘brother’.  She becomes a student politician and learns the Hindu temple art ‘Nangyarkoothu’.

Once while preparing to perform this at a temple festival, the temple committee disagrees with Pookunji performing at the temple as a response to the post-Babri-Masjid riots in the country.

However, pookunji with the help of her fellow student supporters performs. The stage but, is set to fire in retaliation.

The movie ends with Pookunji’s decorated body lying lifeless on the sea shore.

References in the story to the Title

The Night sky is constantly referred to, not directly, but, through constant recitals of Myths that involve the moon or heavenly objects as central characters.
The Moon is given the identity of an indulgent lover mostly.

Pace
The movie spans over 116 minutes. Within the movie, over 20 years are covered. The pace of the movie however seems a little slow with the idea of ‘deep thought’ or a ‘troubled mind’ is emphasized with longer shots involving little or no noticeable action.

Narrator
An omniscient narrator tells the story of what happens to Thangal and his life mostly.
However, parts of the movie also focus on Beekutty and Kunjali’s relation with a  doubtful question on whether or not, Beekutty’s fascination for her brother was beyond a brother-sister relation.

Characters
I feel the movie shows a clear cut distinction between ‘good’ and ‘bad’. Though no one is entirely bad, Thangal, I think is portrayed very ‘white’ as is his attendant played by Indrans.

Thangal’s wife in ‘grey shades’ seems closer to black. She is a little selfish, forever taunting and cribs almost always.

The children, the maid servant and her husband come across as purely innocent.

The Princess and the Jin
The maid recites to Pookunji, the myth of the princess who wants to marry a Jin and in her desire is found “kissed to death” by a Jin on the night she was married. “She lay on the seashore dressed in Silk and Gold”. The movie ends with Pookunji on the sea sore in the exact manner while even as an end to the act she was supposed to put up on the stage. With a bird’s eye-view angle of the camera, her being alone is emphasized, while her father lies dead on the verandah.

Monday, December 21, 2009

Review - Land of Scarecrows


Land of Scarecrows [Heosabideuleui ddang]

Dir: Gyeong-tae Roh
South Korea, 2008
90 mins.
Aspect Ratio: 1.85:1


Ji-Young is a young installation artist. A woman biologically, Young believes herself to be a man. She wears men’s apparel to hide her feminine body structure. During her stay in Philippines, she meets Rain, a beautiful shy girl appearing among other young girls as a contender for eligible suitors for a matchmaking agency.

Young manages to persuade Rain to marry her by her convincing dress up as a man. A few days into the marriage, Rain starts feeling cheated and lonely as the couple enjoys no physical relation. One night she discovers Young’s identity and the fact that the “man” she married is actually a woman, dawns upon her. In a torn mental state but not shy anymore, Rain leaves… she meets Loi Tan, a good-looking boy, working as a dishwasher and looking for his father in the Philippines.

Rain eventually falls in love with Loi.

Themes

1)      An idea of being cheated or snatched off, an identity that one desires
2)      A search

The idea of being Cheated

Right from the onset of the movie there’s a delusive element, this I feel is emphasized by the first scene where the scarecrow is set up in a barren land. A scarecrow is used during a full harvest and has no use in a barren land. Young feels cheated by nature for not biologically making her a man. Rain is cheated by Young into believing her and marrying her. Loi Tan is cheated by his parents.

The Search

There’s a sense of incompleteness the 3 characters go through. Young blames her life at the wasteland as the reason for her “transgender-ness”. She wants to be a man. She is searching for that identity and has gone through every possible wayto getherself cured.

Rain is shy, she desires to be a wife to a Korean man. Once married to Young, she desires to be bodily united with ‘him’ and be loved. She fails to achieve this. She feels incomplete and is seen till almost the end, searching for her Korean man.

Tan’s constant search is for his identity as a son to a father who left him. This search brings him to Philippines.

Narrator

An omniscient narrator, starts by telling us the story of 3 different people and then knits it all together into one.

Structure and Pace
           
The film moves in a linear fashion at a uniform pace with no flashbacks or fast forwards. However the movie appears a little slow often, with some frames excellent in composition but with really slow and little action, making you wish it would move a little faster.

The Bed

I don’t to call it a prop as much but the bed I feel, represents Young’s and Rain’s married life. From a cozy place filling the entire screen in the first few times its shown, the bed starts appearing abandoned with crumpled bed-spreads and a part of it starts being excluded as if to emphasize some sort of uncomfortable incompleteness.

The image of the bed once Rain leaves with the bedspread crumpled on one side, strewn clothes all over and Young sitting alone, in its being a representation of the end of the married relationship, even resembles the barren land with a scarecrow at a level.

Light and Setting

Most of the shots appear to be shot in natural light. Shots with vast landscapes emphasize empty spaces. Shots within closed spaces and rooms are dark as if an element of secrecy is present.

Frames

My favourite part of the movie is the way the shots have been framed. The frames are beautiful though simple. The ‘Rule of Thirds’ has been used abundantly, along with the noticeable use of lines in vast landscapes. Shadows and Darkness are complimentary to the mental state of a character being shown.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

At the IFFK...

The first day...
I reached Kalabhavan at 9 am.. after an advance online booking, got my i -card at 2:30 in the afternoon. watched the 3 o'clock show..A Land of Scarecrows...

I've watched 7 movies so far:

A Land of Scarecrows
Jerichow
Night Sky
Lights in the dusk
The Blessing
Road To Confluence
I'm alive

So far Road to Confluence is my favorite.. an excellent movie, it can make you tearful with patriotism on and off.. Not to mention the excellent acting by Paresh Rawal and Om Puri.. its a must watch
Following this would come The Blessing, Night Sky and Jerichow..
The rest were not so much of my liking.
Reviews coming up on my blog soon :)

Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Hoax Mails

Its surprising (and irritating) to see how hoax e-mails are being circulated. I get at the least 3 mails per day with a "Fwd: x n" in the subject line...
A recent one is at the end of this post.. 
I don't understand how people fall for such things and forward it to their list... I mean who'll pay some crippled orphan person money for someone else forwarding mails, that too on various servers?? If there are stupid world record signature mails.. where will they go? to whom will they reach... who'll decide what number of people have to put in their name... how do you know one person hasn't put in 5 names..
In my free time i like to checkup these hoaxes by copy pasting the material on google or checking out hoax-slayer.com


Check out this link for the latest updates: http://www.hoax-slayer.com/latest-information.html 


And here's the mail i got today... i wish AOL were as generous to me..
Pleeeeeeez, Read this... & forward it.....
Forward to as much as you can. Dear Reader,
I am writing this on behalf of my loving husband.
Everything was fine, me, my husband and our three children. We had a happy family.. My husband was an Engineer in a big company. He comes home early and helps me with the house chores and plays with the children...
Our dreams were shattered in front of our eyes last week. It was a drunk lorry driver, who came on the wrong side and hit us and went. It killed my little baby girl and left my husband paralyzed.. My husband is still in the hospital. His brain is damaged and he needs an operation. I need 5 lakhs to save his life. I have collected about 3 lahks from my friends and family. I need another 2 lakhs.I don't want to lose him. He is such a wonderful husband & father.
He still doesn't know we lost our little girl. I am looking after my son
now... Without my husband I won't be able to take care of him. Please help
me save my husband the one person I dearly love. I have already lost my daughter and I don't want to lose my husband as well. Please help us. Thank
 you for your r love & support. May God bless you.


Yours Truly,
Nirosha Silva

(I know you don't like to forward mails. I am really sorry to bother you. If you have a heart and like to help a family, please forward this mail. Every time you forward this it will add 5 cents per email ID to AOL and they will deposit it into my bank account. Which will help me save my husband.)

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

It grows..


A scar ... It grew.. Its tender vines climb up.. Entwine themselves on each part of me...