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Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Today i feel...

very weird..
inexplicably...
i don't feel like reacting to anything..
i'm losing things at random ..
receiving teddy bears from people i don't want to know anymore
getting calls from people i forgot..
yea i forget people..
i'm irritated on and off..
I'm not getting to see people i want to see..
I 'm basically feeling weird..
about the place i am at..
about what i'm doing with life..
about the kind of people i'm with..
about the kind of clothes i have to(read> i am forced to) wear..
about my neighbours..
about my hair..
about why i don't lose a little weight..

about my opinions..
about my behavior.. about my thoughts
i think sometimes people find it hard to agree with me..
It wasn't like this always..
I think sometimes the truth is i don't belong here..
here.. where i am ..

i don't hate my life..
I don't particularly like it..
I try making it interesting..
some others ruin it for me.. constantly..
when one set of these "others" go.. or i get rid of them, the next set appears.. to make my life weird..
i have been suicidal.. i won't deny.. but i am not anymore.. very often i just shrug to myself and say.. wtf.. let it be as it is.. let's see where this goes..

but then ... i feel weird about everything

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